Chimamanda Adichie opens up on depression, writing struggles and finding her voice again

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has spoken honestly about her battle with depression and how it almost silenced her love for fiction in an interview with CNN Africa.

She admitted:

“I was fighting depression. In that period, just deeply unhappy. Deeply unhappy. And there are ways to try and hide your unhappiness, but you know, it’s there. It’s a constant sort of shadow with you. And it’s not a good place to be.”

The writer explained that not being able to write fiction, something she deeply loves, was one of the hardest parts of that season.

“So in the years that I couldn’t write — and really not being able to write fiction when fiction is a thing that you deeply love — it’s just a terrible place to be.”

She recalled trying to fill the gap with other activities:

“I did a number of things. I tried to distract myself. I said yes to many more things than I ordinarily would because I just thought the writing is not happening. Okay, why don’t I just go and give the speech? And part of it was also, maybe if I go, then I’ll get inspired… but then I wouldn’t. Then I’d come back and be miserable.”

According to her, books and poetry became her safe space.

“But I think also I did things like I read the books I love. I read a lot more poetry in that period because I think poetry really helps with language. But also in the end, it’s just about waiting and hoping. You’re not in control of this thing.”

She described her creativity as something spiritual:

“There are stories that are — so I call it the ancestors and the spirits speaking to me. So they’re really speaking to me now. And I’m very happy to be running around and singing and dancing for this novel, Dream Count, because it means a lot to me.”

Finally, she expressed gratitude for overcoming that dark season:

“I’m grateful that I finished it, finally. I’m grateful that it’s out. I’m grateful that it’s found its readers. I’m grateful that, in some ways, really, honestly, it’s kind of everything I hoped it would be.”

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