(Written by: Oyekunle Lizzy Oyebola)

PDA IS BAD?!

Like seriously?!

I didn’t know my mouth was suspended in great surprise until my nephew slightly nudged me to consciousness.
I smiled, closed my mouth and continued to listen to the tale of…is it woe?

Ella spoke without waiting to swallow the spittle that had gathered in her mouth.

I turned to look at my nephew, her husband too and his head was bent in dejection.

After a while Ella came to a stop and quickly wiped the tear that ran down her face.

I was dumbfounded and could only sigh and sigh and sigh!

“Like seriously!” I exclaimed when I eventually found my voice

They both nodded like confused Agama lizards

I clapped my hands together in amazement

PDA is bad?

I was just hearing that for the first time ever!

I had always thought it was great, it was a great sign and all but what the heck did I just hear?

Ah!

The couple had entered into my office this morning looking so pale and sad and so worried that something was wrong with the unborn baby in my nephew’s wife, I was troubled and jumped to attend to them in the reception part of my office.

“Are you coming from the hospital? What is the matter?” I asked as John helped his pregnant wife to sit.

They had gotten married six months ago.

“We are coming from the church” John said, his brows knitted into a slight frown. I relaxed a bit

“So?” I asked when no more explanation seemed to be coming forth

“Aunty, I have been battling with catarrh for like five days now coupled with sneezes and wet sniffs…” Ella started and I burst into laughter

“Newly wedded couples sha! Ah! So, because of cold and catarrh, you ran to the church” I said again as I burst out laughing uncontrollably.
I continued until I realised that I was the only one laughing. The couple didn’t join me.

I swallowed the residue of laughter and looked at their stern faces.

“Seems I am getting the whole gist wrong, right?” I asked and they gave me a very sound yes!

“Oh, sorry. Please, go on”

“When we got to the church, the usher directed my husband and I to the front row but I told him I would love to stay at the back since I’ve got flu and might need to go out often to sneeze and blow my nose but he insisted so we sat in the front” She started and I nodded, so eager to know what had happened.

“Ok?”

“Luckily, I didn’t have to sneeze much during the service until towards the end when I felt nauseous. I felt I could hold it but when I couldn’t, I stood up abruptly, forgetting I am even pregnant.” she continued and oh, my heart jumped into my mouth.

My frail looking girl o!

“John followed me, held my back to my waist and held my hands. He was obviously worried as he led me out. Aunty, come and see the looks on the faces of the church leaders as we went out. Ah!” she exclaimed and the suspense was just too much for me.

“Hmmm…orisirisi” John exclaimed too and that was when I knew that it had happened really!

“Aunty, after the service the pastor sent for my husband and I. We got to his office and found three other leaders seated. We greeted them and sat down”

“It was a bomb!” John exclaimed and smiled ruefully

“Bomb ke!” I burst out

“The pastor said we had committed some offences and we should come today to see the disciplinary committee. My husband was like, ‘for what sir?’ They said till today and this morning we were summoned to the boardroom of the church. About ten leaders were seated and we were in the middle like culprits!” Ella went on

“My God! What did you do? What is it?” I asked impatiently

“Marriage is yours and all display of affection is meant to be pocketed while in the public till you are both left alone. That was what our pastor told us” She said eventually and my head rang for a while before stability came

“We have been observing that both of you, being youth leaders have not shown good examples…” John continued while I watched on

“Yes! Because its been six months now that you are married, yet you still wear the same colour and same prints of clothes on Sunday and during week days services. That is worldliness and it poses something bad to the youths under your leadership!” Emma cut in, gesticulating as she mimicked the pastor

“Then, I was like, sorry sir, is that a sin too?” John said, still smiling ruefully

“What you just did now Bro. John is an act of insubordination. The pastor said again and I couldn’t control my laughter. I was so shocked. Just then, the church’s secretary gave both of us the suspension letters…” Emma said and I jumped to my feet

“For what offence?” I almost screamed

“For PDA and insubordiantion”

“PDA?…that is what?” I asked, naively

“Public display of affection” They chorused it, looking sullen

I sat in front of them and looked into their faces deeply

“Did you kiss in front of the pulpit? Or did John kneel in front of Emma to peck her protuding tummy? Did you share a bear hug before all and sundry? Did you …erm…did you..ermm…oh my! Even if you did, is it not to the credit of the church that your home is sweet?….ah!…ehn ehn!” I was short of words really!

“PDA in the sense that we were misleading the youths and we are threats to them, like we are polluting their minds as to what marriage is really about.” John explained

“Ah! Oluwa o!” I beat my thighs in astonishment

“Then, wearing of the same clothes every time, thats PDA too and its bad!” Emma said and I just looked on, unbelievably

“Jesu!” I exclaimed as I pulled my suit to allow for fresh air

“Then, holding my wife, my own wife by her waist to serve as a support for her to move out and vomit. That was a PDA and its sinful!” John said forcefully

“Ah ah!…I have never heard about this before! Never!” I said as I walked to the window

“I was so shocked too. I was embarrassed. I was told that before my husband got married, he was committed and all but since he got married to me, this PDA thing has been the only thing he’s been taking serious. I felt bad really!”

“And aunty, I thought I had told you this earlier. getting married to Emma has just been the best thing ever! My prayer life has become powerful! I now know the word more! My spiritual gifts have increased so when the leaders said since I got married to her, every thing had changed negatively, I was like, seriously, because of PDA?” John said, sweating under his nose

And that was what happened o!

I was so confused and flabbergasted that I didn’t know the right thing to say.

Oh Lord! What should I say?

What?

I wouldn’t want them to have any resentment against the church’s leadership, neither would I want them to feel to love and to be loved is a sin.

How do I do it?

How Lord?
“See, most time, the way we really behave inside our homes determine the way we would behave outside. You will see some leaders not able to sit close to each other and I think, like seriously, aren’t they married or something? Well, overtime, I have realised that that is exactly the way they behave at home.”

I waited to see their reactions

“For me, if you have noticed Dave and I closely, we tell everybody both young and old that we love each other. The way we behave in our house is the same way we behave outside the four walls of our home. You are witnesses!”

“Yeah! That is what I desire too until this came up” John said and I sighed deeply

“Now, our holiness is being questioned!” Ella sobbed.
i was irritated

“John, Ella, I think in marriage holiness is when the love you have for your partner is so much that your inside cannot take it all…it just has to flow out of you both, mix together and the fragrance of it all wafts into the noses of everyone watching and they desire a happy home too. They desire never to miss it too. I think that is what holiness in marriage is. Right?”

“Right aunty but we have been disciplined for…” Ella was saying

“Hold it there! Wherever your church works are not being appreciated because of the display of the love you have for your spouse, please and please, let it go!” I was almost saying angrily.

“What!” They exclaimed

i felt like I had said something bad but I continued

“Yes! If they see that your PDA heightens and they decide not to allow you function in the church because of that, they have only decided to block a channel of blessing and God will provide another avenue for you both to work!”

“Ah!” They exclaimed again, looking so worried,
i was overwhelmed!

“Or, have you both decided to reduce your PDA so that the church would give your positions back to you? Are you ready both of you to add some sourness to the sweetness in your love now because of the discipline? Are you both going to neglect your love and inevitably your home to please some leaders? Are you? Are you really?”

I looked into their faces and then scratched my hair in confusion.

Have I not counselled them well?

Have I said something I was not supposed to say?

Is PDA between couples really that bad?

They are married for crying out loud!
Like seriously!

[b]<BASED ON A TRUE LIFE STORY>

(c) Oyekunle Lizzy Oyebola