I have wanted to put this out for a while, bit simply could not muster up the courage. Afters weeks of pondering and shelving it away today I have decided to put this out for the world to see. This is very personal and I feel sharing it with the online community will further help me in the long road to complete healing. I would happily confess I have come a long way and have eradicated almost 90% of porn’s influence on my life. Let’s get started with the main article.
I am a true-blood feminist and respect women, I have believed for most part of my 20 year life that women make our lives better and they are not equal but superior to men. Yet porn managed to rewire my brain and make me a twisted person, which I regret now.What started as a exploration of my sexuality with friends turned my life upside down. I started viewing women as a object of desire whose only purpose is to satisfy me sexually. They were not friends,wives,mothers,sisters and many other important roles women play to make this world a bester place. But objects to gratify my sexual fantasies.Every day I fell deeper and deeper in this lustful trap and in process lost myself.
2. Porn trapped me in my comfort zone.
I became so comfortable in my zone getting dopamine shots for every orgasm or porn viewing session, my brain was just not ready to try new stuff or work on myself. I loved writing and always wanted my own blog to share my life and ideas, but my brain so addicted to it’s dopamine shots and comfort was appaled by the prospect of putting in the work and failing, it was used to the easy life. I was in a weird relationship with the pixels on various device screens. I will be triggered by small failures or roadblocks and dig into my safe haven every day. In short I was just a stagnant river, whose potential was trapped inside a cage on the verge of annihilation.
3.Porn changed how I viewed relationships and sex.
Porn is total bullshit and acting, created to fulfill fantasies forpeople sitting alone in their living rooms. It’s all choreographed and edited over a period of days and months, real life will never be able to match up. Porn ends up creating high expectations and rewired my brain in such a way that I wanted more and new types of stuff every time. My view on relationships and sex became that of a junk food addict on instant noodles. I was in love with the instant sex that never refused me and loyalty,emotional compatibility and many other factors that build relationships took a backseat. In my head relationship was all about physical attributes and nothing else. I went from a gentle human being to this twisted person I did not know, thanks to porn.It took me a while to regain my former original self, as I was tired of playing this game of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde with myself.
4. Porn affected my personality.
I was irritated, angry and lost my temper for minutest of reasons.I would want myself in my room pleasuring myself with porn, instead of spending time with friends and family or doing activities I loved like reading a book or writing. I was in a constant state of gloominess or depressed, as if all the happiness was sucked out from my soul. I lacked the enthusiasm or energy towards living life, their was absolutely no excitement. I went from a positive,shy and happy kid to frustrated and purposeless. Porn was providing pleasure for a moment and tons of sadness and guilt afterwards, but the brain was addicted to this momentary pleasure that after all the suffering it will start chasing that moment again,caught up in an endless and vicious cycle.
5. Porn left me broken from inside.
Leaving porn and PMO(porn induced masturbation and orgasm) was a big task for me. I have been trapped in this cage of pleasure since past 9 years and it is very difficult to convince your brain to get out. I suffer from withdrawal symptoms just like a drug addict, my brain wanting to feel that rush of dopamine again, from the familiar source. My brain had got used to the regular source of dopamine and it was difficult for it to change. After I quit porn I was left with severe withdrawal symptoms my body wanted the regular dopamine fix and I was left totally broken and shattered, it took me a long time to get hold of myself. Now I have come clean for the good and will never return to those dark alleyways again! some days when I am sad I still feel that urge somewhere in the corners of my mind and it get’s really hard to resist. But I cannot give-up, not now for the sake of my sanity.
I hope my personal experience can be a beacon of light to fellow strugglers, brothers and sisters in the same boat along the choppy waters. I hope my readers can relate to my story, I am not looking for your sympathy just your love and support will embolden me to push the final nail in the coffin on porn. No one is alone, this entire world is like a global community of different individuals who are joined by a medium called the internet.One for all and all for one! The society has been turning a blind eye for decades now, we cannot let porn be normalised in our culture and labelled a harmless part of our lives, that very thought is downright outrageous.
Porn is just a evil which has become so normalised in our society that we simply overlook the flaws staring straight at us. Let’s make that right!
© 2014-2024 9jaflaver. All Rights Reserved.
About us | DMCA | Privacy Policy | Contact us
| Advertise| Request For Music | Terms Of Service
9jaflaver is not responsible for the content of external sites.
Same here with mine. Am also a victim