I was shocked and devastated – South African woman narrates how her Ugandan boyfriend vanished with her N41m four months after meeting on dating app

A South African woman, Jabu Nxumalo, has narrated how her Ugandan boyfriend, Joseph Ssekasi, vanished with her R510,000 four months after they met on dating app, Tinder last year.

Nxumalo said she was innocently hoping to get an honest, loving boyfriend when she joined the dating app, and soon she had Ssekasi courting her. 

“At the time, he called himself Deron Mundari, and claimed to be from South Sudan. Honestly, there was nothing amiss about the guy,” Nxumalo said in an interview with IOL News as part of an ongoing series on romance scams in South Africa. 

“He seemed like a down to earth and a respectful person. Little did I know that he was in this relationship for a paycheck in the name of love.”

According to Nxumalo, part of the fraud involved a purported “ancestor’s voice” which instructed her to approach different banks and raise R500,000 which she handed over to him at his place in Brakpan. 

This money, Nxumalo was told, was her contribution in a mysterious scheme which involved “ancestors” and prayers

Ssekasi also claimed that the Brakpan house, where Nxumalo visited, was his but she later found that the house was rented

As the newfound love was blossoming, and Nxumalo had handed over her R510,000, the loving Ssekasi also appeared to hand over over R700,000 as his contribution into the investment. 

Days later, Ssekasi notified Nxumalo that a business outing had come up and he would be out of Gauteng for days. 

Ssekasi bid farewell to Jabu on May 1, 2023, claiming to be travelling to Limpopo.

While he was supposedly in Limpopo, the lovebirds continued to communicate via calls and text messages. 

Days later, Nxumalo realised that her messages to Ssekasi had abruptly stopped going through, and she then suspected it could be a network issue

At this stage, Nxumalo kept dismissing her natural instinct which kept telling her to go and check out Ssekasi’s house in Brakpan, where she had parted ways with her R510,000

“Honestly, my intuition was telling me to go to his place but I stopped myself several times. I was asking myself, who will open for me, when I get there? On May 11, 2023, the date he had said he would be travelling back from Limpopo, I decided to drive to his place during lunch time. That is when I found a ‘house to let’ sign on the house,” she said.

“I was shocked and devastated. I then realised instantly that I had been scammed.

The following day, Jabu went to open a case at Boksburg police station.

“When I got to the front desk, I waited for my turn and asked to speak to the constable in a private space,” Nxumalo said.

“The constable treatment me with respect, he took me to private boardroom and took my statement. He was empathetic and promised me that the police will do the best to assist me. I left the station with so much hope.”

A day after, Nxumalo was to be admitted in a psychiatric hospital as she had become suicidal.

“I had not slept for two nights. Just a day before I was discharged, I was called by a detective Khumalo from Boksburg police station who wanted us to meet the day after I leave the hospital. I then went with my brother to meet the detective,” Nxumalo said

“While I was narrating my story, she stopped me and told me that as police, they can only arrest people they know their whereabouts, and that with cases of this nature, there is a low likelihood that a criminal can be sentenced,” she said.

“During our conversation, I showed her the picture of Ssekasi, the person who scammed me. Detective Khumalo did not event take the photo, and to-date she does not have a photo of my scammer, the person SAPS is hoping to catch one day.

“That engagement with the police detective actually depressed me more. I ended up asking detective Khumalo, if she was trying to tell me that there is nothing the police can do to help me,” said Nxumalo

Nxumalo told IOL that while still in conversation with the detective, a woman sergeant joined them in the office.

“The sergeant came in and asked her colleague: Khumalo, how much did this one lose? and Khumalo told her I had lost R500,000. The sergeant remarked that instead of giving the money to the scammer, I should have given her the money instead,” she said.

“At that point, I was so broken and shattered. It was on that day, after that engagement with the police that I started planning how I was going to end my life. But by God’s grace, I’m here to tell my story.”

More than a year later, the bubbly Nxumalo has not allowed the scam to bring her life down, but she is now actively involved in campaigns to raise awareness on the rampant love scams which are spiraling across South Africa

IOL this week approached the South African Police Service in Gauteng, and it confirmed that the docket in Jabu’s case was “temporarily closed”, pending the resurgence of new evidence or information on the alleged swindler.

Gauteng provincial police spokesperson, Lieutenant Colonel Mavela Masondo told IOL that if new evidence emerges regarding the whereabouts of the alleged swindler, the docket will be re-opened

“This is a case of fraud and the case will be re-opened once there is new evidence or once we can get the suspect,” he said.

Masondo said the SAPS requests Ssekasi to contact the nearest police station. Community members who recognise Ssekasi should alert the police.

“Anyone who sees him is requested to call the nearest police station. He is required to help police with the investigation,” said Masondo

Meanwhile, Nxumalo appealed to women to be vigilant in love relationships — a trait which would have saved her R500,000. 

“Red flags include a new boyfriend who is very interested in where you work and what you do. They will ask random questions, like are you renting or is it your house. The scammer will ‘love bomb’ their victims, which means attempting to influence you as a woman through over-the-top displays of attention and affection,” said Nxumalo.

“The scammers claim to be deeply in love within a few weeks of meeting for the first time. Within days or weeks, he will want to introduce the unsuspecting victim to his ‘family’. But most of all, if the new boyfriend wants to borrow some money from you … run for your life.”