I’m Scared Of Returning Home, Nigeria’s Failed Healthcare Killed My Mum – US-Based

I’m scared of returning home, Nigeria’s failed heathcare killed my mum – US-based


President of the Bini Club of Houston, United States, Lydia Aguebor, speaks with BIODUN BUSARI on her struggles in search for greener pastures, community leadership in Houston, and why she is scared of returning to Nigeria because of the way her mother died

How will you describe your stay in the US?

I’m a mother of three beautiful children in the US. I relocated to America in 2005. When I first settled here, it was quite challenging because I left my comfort zone to come to a land where I knew nobody. Settling here came with its challenges. I came here to start from scratch. It was a lot of battles. Basically, it was tough for me in terms of job search and career. I studied Law at the University of Benin. And being in the US requires you to have licences for the things you do.

What kind of challenges did you experience?

There were only menial jobs to do in the beginning. Even, there were jobs that I didn’t get because of overqualification. When I submitted copies of my resume to some places, they would tell me I was overqualified for the job. They called it a college degree here, and I was asked to lower my qualifications. I had to do it because I needed jobs to make money. After all, bills were mounting. I started working with a fast food outlet where chickens were sold. I did that for a year. Then I worked for the State of Texas for eight years. Then, I began working on my papers. I wasn’t really happy with what I was doing. Later, I decided to start my business.

You said you didn’t like some of the things you did at scratch. What were they?

When I worked as a cashier or more or less of an attendant at a fast-food outlet, I would pass the money to another person in the inner lobby who would bring the order for me to give to the customers. I also worked as a cashier at a place called Target like a grocery store. It could be likened to ShopRite in Nigeria.

Why did you leave Nigeria in 2005?

I never worked before leaving Nigeria. I was a full-time housewife. I started coming to the US in 2002 when I was a law student at the University of Benin. Anytime I came to the US, I just loved it and dreamed of settling there. So, I came here in search of greener pastures.

What kind of business did you venture into?

I started a legal business. It started in my living room. The company was about helping people file their travel and immigration documents. When my client base was increasing, I moved on to get a place. I still couldn’t afford an office for myself. I had to pair up with someone. I only just had a chair, desk, and printer in that office. I started my business in June 2014.

What factors contributed to your business growth in the US?

The whole factor was narrowed down to the clients in my community. I knew the people I wanted to render services to. I did the feasibility study to know the kind of people to attract to my business. I started giving out fliers. My clients were mostly Nigerians, Africans, and Hispanic communities like Mexicans. Basically, I targeted the immigrants. They were the markets I was looking at. These people needed the services I offered. Apart from that, I gave them good service. I had a passion for helping and serving people. This made my business grow because I began to get referrals. When immigrants came to the US looking for a way to stabilise themselves and get their papers, people referred them to me based on the good services I rendered to them or their relatives. If I wasn’t doing good jobs, I wouldn’t get those referrals. These helped my company.

How did you come about being a community leader?

I’m from Edo State. Therefore, I’m the President of the Bini Club of Houston. I was born and raised as a Bini in Benin City. When I relocated to the US in 2005, I first settled in Dallas for a year, before I moved to Houston. Then, in 2006, I wanted to associate with my people and tell them what I did for a living. That was when one of my aunties introduced me to the Bini Club of Houston. I registered as a member and in the following year, I became their secretary through election. I served as the secretary for eight years to different administrations. It was a two-year tenure, so I had four tenures. Two years ago, I became the vice president. When the president was leaving this year, I ran for the office. I emerged as the first female president of the Bini Club of Houston. This is just my 11th month as the president.

How long has the Bini Club of Houston been in existence?

It has been in existence for 35 years.

Can you discuss some of the secrets that make Nigerians survive in the US?

Hard work is number one. There was a client from East Africa. I can’t recall whether he was from Kenya or Uganda. He told me that Nigerians were smart to the extent that anywhere in the world you go to and Nigerians are not there, leave the place. He said if you get anywhere and there are Nigerians there, then stay there because there must be something good in that place. In the US, other immigrants look up to us as models. Our survival rate is high. We are purpose-driven. Another factor that contributes to this is family. The fact that we leave people at home who we must not fail makes us to be focused and hardworking. Nigerians are family-oriented, not stand-alone people. We don’t want to fail our people because we have a name to protect. We also care about integrity and doing this becomes a legacy for our children. Our children are ranked among the best in academics, business, tech, and other endeavours in the US. even, the Americans can’t fathom this.

Nigerians in the diaspora say that it is not always greener on the other side. Do they say this to discourage those at home not to come and join you abroad?

That word is 100 per cent correct. America is not a bed of roses. I told you when I came here as a trained lawyer, I had to begin as a cashier. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do that in Nigeria. But coming to the US to succeed requires a process. The mentality we get from our people is that they think when you get to America or other places, you will just start making money, but it isn’t like that. You have to start from scratch. Whoever you are, America will humble you. We’re not saying that word to scare people away from relocating. It is just the reality. The reason is that as a professional in Nigeria maybe a doctor, engineer, or lawyer, you need to get your certifications here. This requires a lot of processes with money. For some people, their immigration status prevents them from working as a professional, so we take all of these into consideration and say, ‘it is not always greener on the other side.’ We pay bills. The first thing is to regularise your papers and we have many ways of doing that. The lucky people were those who came in with a visa lottery and that has been blocked for Nigerians.

How do you cope with pressures from relatives who need financial assistance from home?

We’re Nigerians and have to cope. I have a lot of relatives because my father was a polygamist. I’m number 10 of 24 children from eight mothers. By God’s grace, I can say everyone is successful because the family is big. However, there are still relatives, friends or other people who will come for one help or the other. Notwithstanding, my principle is to teach people how to fish not give them fish when they seek help. I prefer to help people with lasting solutions, not giving stipends here and there. With that, I don’t put unnecessary burdens on myself. This is different from just occasional giving like the festive periods because we are used to it. It is who we are. I learned that things are expensive in Nigeria now so it’s my responsibility to also try and give people more than what I gave last year.

How do you feel when you hear about the economic hardship in Nigeria?

It’s not a pleasant feeling at all. I feel bad. I think of how people survive in Nigeria. Honestly, I don’t understand. I hear people can work for months in some organisations without being paid. How do they cope? You can’t do that in the US. There are bills to pay. I own my home here, but I pay my mortgage every month. If I’m working for someone and I don’t get paid, it means I’ll be evicted from my house, my electricity will be cut, I won’t have food and others. It is a month-to-month country. My heart bleeds for people back at home. I don’t understand why the government treats citizens like that. I hear about the disturbing unemployment rate. I don’t understand how those who have jobs even cope because I was told a bag of rice is around N120,000.

As an American citizen, what are your thoughts on the election that returned Donald Trump?

For me, it is what is good for America that I stand for. I am a businesswoman, so I stick with what is good for the US. Both Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have their qualities but it’s for the American people to decide who they prefer. I voted as a US citizen but won’t tell you who I voted for. American politics is interesting. We don’t have a choice but to embrace Trump as our president. We’re optimistic that he will do better than the last time he was there. Just like when President Bola Tinubu came in as president of Nigeria, a lot of people didn’t want him but he’s there today. There’s nothing anybody could do about it but to respect the process.

Will you lend your voice to the japa syndrome for Nigerians to search for greener pastures around the world or sit at home to survive?

It would have been better for all of us to stay back and use our skills to build Nigeria, but successive governments have proved that they don’t want to support the people. The skills that we’re taking to diaspora are the skills we should have used for our country. For me, if anybody has the opportunity to better their lives somewhere else, it is a welcome development. And there are still people who don’t want to go anywhere but make Nigeria great; that’s also good. We just have to do what is best for our lives as Nigerians.

What project do you have for the people back at home?

I have an initiative called Lydia Aguebor Foundation. I attended Idia College for my secondary school. I finished in 1988. Our alumni is strong in Houston and we give back to our community. So, I started my foundation when I turned 50. I will be 53 next month. So, I used that foundation during my birthday to sponsor students who are brilliant but can’t afford their WAEC fees. I paid for their WAEC fees. I will do it again this year. I also give them money to buy their sandals and backpacks.

Do you plan to relocate to Nigeria in the future?

I can’t decide that yet. Nigeria is my country. I love Nigeria. I’m always happy when I come. That’s the only time I don’t have to work. I make sure I eat all the organic foods that I’ve missed in the US. Having said that, I don’t know if I’ll settle in Nigeria. Maybe I can come when everything gets better. Security and healthcare are a big deal for me. I don’t see that yet in Nigeria. My mother died in 2022 in Nigeria because they removed the oxygen she was using before they could transfer her from one hospital to another. This always gets me emotional when I remember. Imagine, my mother was on oxygen and a particular hospital said they could not take care of her again. So, they took away their oxygen. How did they want her to survive from one point to another? I usually think that the poor healthcare system in Nigeria killed my mother. All of this gets me scared of coming back to Nigeria. But, when the government makes the country better, I’ll come. If the economy is stabilised, all of us in the diaspora will come back home.

Source:- Punchng