My first date after my separation, I cried on my way home – Toke Makinwa reveals as she covers Fame Extra magazine

Media personality Toke Makinwa has revealed a lot in this interview with Latasha Ngwube as she covers Fame Extra magazine debut tagged “The Rebirth”.

She talks about misconceptions about marriage, the upsides to being single, dating again, fashion and lots more. Read below…
Let’s talk fashion for a bit. Which designers are you loving currently?
Lately, my love for shoes are actually a problem. Lol… I love Balenciaga, Aquazzura Wild things/pompoms, Sergio Rossi, and of course Alaia Sandals too. For me I go thru phases when it comes to labels, I am a label whore, I need to stay faithful but they are so many amazing brands it’s like a kid in the candy store. For clothing, I love me some Nigerian Brands like Nouva Couture, Toju Foyeh, Lisa Folawiyo, April by Kunbi, Lanre Da Silva and Deola by Deola Sagoe.

What’s the fashion item in your closet you can’t get enough of right now?
The cold shoulder trend is my fav right now, I love the Tope FNR balloon sleeve Ankara so much, it’s so comfy and of course the cold shoulder detail.
What’s your biggest fashion no-no?
Oh there are so many but what irks me the most must be the wearing everything in trend. Not everything in trend fits your body frame. I love to keep up with fashion and of course everyone loves to be on top of their game and we like to have an idea of which direction the world is going but there are somethings that are in and might not necessary be for me.

Do you have a style crush?
Oh yeah… So many of them. I love Blake Lively, Eku Edewor, Zainab Balogun… Rita Dominic will look good in anything, she is just so stylish.
On average it takes you how long to get ready for a red carpet?
It depends, I have a team and it takes us roughly about 3/4 hours but it is always fun times. If an event starts at 7 we start prepping at 2pm. It’s a madhouse but I am surrounded by so many talented people it is such a joy to watch.
You get your makeup done professionally a lot of the time. What’s the monthly average cost?
I can’t tell you otherwise I’d have to kill you but I feel really blessed and fortunate enough to have met some amazing people who took a chance with my brand from day 1. It goes beyond a chequelationship and I try to tell a lot of upcoming people in this business; you’ve got to climb the tree not from the top but from the bottom. Find people with similar goals who want nothing more than to succeed and form a partnership where everyone grows together and it’s beneficial. That way we would all work when no money is coming in and then work some more when we are all MADE. Everyone on my team is now on a retainer and we started from the bottom. Let’s just say God heard our cry and has blessed us and is still blessing us.

Your skin, especially your face is flawless like a china doll. How do you do it? Tell us your secrets!
I have none. I never go to bed with makeup on, I am a product junkie, you should see me at the cosmetic brand, I try so many things till I find what works and I try to exfoliate a lot too.
A lot of your fans seem to think you have it all BUT is there a particular body feature you’ve always wanted?
I used to wish I was taller, I used to wish I had a bigger frame and I passed 25 and started adding some extra weight and I wished for my small frame even more. No one is perfect, we are all on a journey to love ourselves and some people get there faster than others but in the end, we realise that it keeps changing and the key is to embrace even the things that we want to change so bad.

What’s your stance on plastic surgery?
Hmm… I am not against it, I feel like it’s a comfort thing, I have seen people struggle with those things that they are insecure about and once they get something done, they become different people. They are more confident, and if it rocks their boats, why not? I never judge another’s decision as I haven’t walked a quarter of a mile in their shoes so whatever makes you happy, whatever helps you sleep well at night…. Knock yourself out.
It’s no secret that you are single again. For you, are there any upsides to your status?
It’s tricky! It’s exactly like learning to ride a bike again but I think I am doing very well. Laughs. Of course you get the initial stumble and fall off but the key is to accept that things are different now and that’s ok. My first date after my separation, I cried on my way home as I couldn’t believe I was back dating again, the stress and joys of getting to know someone again, the excruciating pain of the past and the will to trust another again.

What would you say was your biggest misconception about marriage?
People are not honest enough! You are told to keep quiet about everything like showing a sign of ‘all is not well’ automatically means you have a bad marriage. The thing is, everyone struggles, no situation is perfect and if people walked around with a little bit of honesty about their situation, a lot of marriages might survive. Religion is also a very big problem, God is involved in Marriage and he has also blessed us with the capacity to think and make decisions for ourselves so people need to be less religious and more aware of His love. There will be way less judgement. So much goes on in a home and you are told to keep mute, keep taking, pray till your knees get dark from kneeling (which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong), but a lot of people lose who they are trying to keep with all of these mandates that doesn’t always work. I am not saying you should go around telling everyone your business but I feel if we had more people open up about their struggles and a society that is less judgmental, people will begin to appreciate the beauty of seeing two people work at staying together and realising the sheer amount of work required on both sides.
How do you deal with controversy?
I just don’t meddle too much in what is being said or how it is being analysed… I simply keep it moving. God has been so incredible in my career and before I started, he told me. “You will hold your peace and I will fight for you”. He has not failed me yet. I just pray about the situation and remind him always that as a servant looks up to his master and a maid servant to her mistress; my eyes are on him (GOD).
Truthfully, do you ever google yourself because I get narcissistic moments when I just go for it. Am I alone?
Loooool. I used to have the google alert on my phones but it was so mentally draining and because I try not to believe the hype, I just work, work some more and stay thankful… I took it off!
What’s the most absurd thing you’ve ever read about yourself?
That I had a child I was hiding. It was so silly but yeah, that was funny.
What is something people would be surprised to know about you?
My spiritual side shocks people.
What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
I can’t seem to think of any now.
What’s your biggest pet peeve in a man?
A man that talks too much… No thanks! Dirty nails too. Gross!
Who is your current MCM?
Dr Avery Jackson and Jesse Williams is BAE
If you had one wish that was guaranteed to come true, what would it be?
That heaven had visiting hours and we could come and go as we please.
So far what has been your weirdest fan moment?
Each moment leaves me in awe, I still don’t take myself that seriously and when I run into people who have kind things to say or are jittery or excited, it keeps me so humbled and blessed and leaves me striving to be more.
The best advice you ever received….
Let it go! Will this matter in 3 or 4 years?? If not, breathe and let go.
Is dating on the cards for you right now?
Yes, and I am having a lot of fun right now.
What does Toke Makinwa have in the works for the future?
It’s been such a busy year and I don’t like to talk much about things I’m working on, but God is about to launch me into a whole new realm of amazing things. I can’t wait.
I know you have worked your butt off to get to where you are but in your quieter moments when you sit back and reflect but are the thoughts that run through your mind?
I know where I am coming from, I can’t believe I have made it this far so I try to take stock and encourage myself when it gets tough and I can’t see the sun.
A lot of young girls see you and want to be you. Any words of wisdom for them?
I feel extremely honored. I’ll say life is tough and the moment you stop existing and dare to live you become a target of everything. Good/Bad. Happy/Sad, never ever let go of the vision. Don’t ever forget why you started!
This is 2016, year of the savage. Do you believe in clapping back at haters or drama bringers on social media?
It’s not my style but I have seen some incredibly funny clap backs.
How would you like to be remembered?
I touched lives, I was the reason that someone, somewhere took a chance, I was a living testimony that God is real, my life is a city set on a hill and unbelievers will want to know my God after they see how I live.