Nick Cannon’s putting his family jewels first … taking out an insurance policy on his well-tested testes, which he’s valuing at a whopping 8 figures!!!
Talk about money well spent — remember, Nick’s golden gonads have already spawned 12 kids with 6 different women, so it should come as no surprise he just launched a new collab with Dr. Squatch’s Ball Valuation Tool.
Even less shocking, the men’s care company assessed Nick’s population-boosting balls at $10 million!
Dr. Squatch is putting its money where its mouth is (pardon our metaphor) … as the co. officially took out a policy through MMA/Momentous Insurance to guarantee Nick’s beans are thoroughly protected.
Nick’s tongue-in-cheek take on his brass pair is … “Haters say it’s time for me to stop having kids and put this super sperm to rest, but I’m doubling down on these valuable balls and my future kids. Shoutout to Dr. Squatch for giving my balls the credit they deserve and hooking me up with the protection I need to keep this family tree rolling!”
The collab’s certainly flattering to Nick’s ego, as the comedian landed the “Most Valuable Balls” title … and all he had to do to nab the title was share his ball size, favorite features and bedroom maneuvers. No testimony needed from his 6 previous happy customers/babies’ mothers!
Nick’s in good company when it comes to insuring body parts … in fact, his ex-wife pulled the move years ago.
As TMZ reported, Mariah Carey — mother of Monroe and Moroccan with Nick — got a massive insurance policy in 2016 for her vocal cords and hamstrings … to the tune of $70 million.
And, the late great Tina Turner reportedly insured her famous legs for a whopping $3.2 million.
Just as Mimi and Tina had a lot on the line, professionally, when they protected their assets — the stakes are equally high for Nick’s nuts. Mars ain’t gonna populate itself!
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