Story: Campus Life. Girls. Ghetto. Garri. Glory - Season 1 Episode 3 - 9jaflaver





Story: Campus Life. Girls. Ghetto. Garri. Glory – Season 1 Episode 3

Story: Campus Life. Girls. Ghetto. Garri. Glory – Season 1 Episode 3

‘Guy hurry na, enter bathroom baff make we go hear word of God’ Emma giggled, making jest of Theo. Like seriously, even Emma was surprised at the sudden change in character of Theo, or should I say, career.
Twenty minutes later, we were in a bus on our way to ‘Big man Church’. Why was it called ‘Big man Church’ if you may ask. The church building and interior was heaven on earth, it was rumoured that the building was built in three days. Power of money, did I say three days? Well I won’t talk further on that. Na ‘them’ talk am but I no believe. The building premises, design, gardens could just be called in simple terms as paradise. Whoever attended this church was damn stinking rich.
‘God be with you young Sir(s).’ The gateman greeted with queens English. Choi, this gateman was probably a PhD holder. ‘You can Pay your pass in the church’s bank over there’ He added pointing to the bank behind us.
‘Ermm Sir, we are here in respect to Reverend T.’ Emma spoke out. I couldn’t remember the last time Emma spoke good English.
‘Oh, you two are his servants in the lord, you both are highly welcome’ The gateman welcomed us ushering us into the church.
‘Servants in the lord, Choi I don suffer, make I catch the so called Theo abi wetin be that him name sef, Reverend T. Rubbish!’ Emma mumbled out loud though I heard it, fortunately the gateman was afar off and probably didn’t hear it.
I walked as I cursed Theo within me. Servants in the lord indeed, well we were lucky not to have paid the gate pass of five hundred thousand while I fed my eyes on the building designs which I might never be opportune to see again. We were led into the church where praises and worship had already begun. We sat in the workers section where most of the ushers sat and quickly joined in the praise and worship.

Theo began prophesizing fervently, speaking in tongues and languages not even the devil understood. I was extremely amazed. If Theo’s sudden change in character was genuine then it certainly meant the world was coming to an end. Theo of all people, the devil’s incarnate himself, climbing the pulpit to pray? Then I’ll surely give my life to Christ then.
‘There is someone here that is having headache, come out immediately!’ Theo, sorry Reverend T. ordered. Scores of people came out excitedly. What the hell, couldn’t they see that was just an ordinary prophecy? I was still pondering on the foolishness of the church members when Theo called out again.
‘There is someone here. You are a human being and you are in this church. You are having stomach pains and headache, I say comeout!’ Theo ordered again. By now, half the church’s population was out.
I was seeing magic. People seemed to have fallen for Theo’s enchantments. Whatever he had done had blinded them from seeing that he was just a trickster. Who wasn’t a human being and wasn’t inside the church? Someone needed to spank the foolishness out of this congregation.
Theo began a hot prayer session in which he supposedly healed them of their infirmities. The church became rowdy with people jubilant and excited as to their ‘Healing’. Hmmn, I just sat from my seat, watching their lies with my 3D lens.
As if being directed from above and with seriousness on his face, Reverend T lifted his hands upwards and began murmuring words audible to himself only. He demanded decorum in the church auditorium cutting short the celebrating party.
‘If you know you are an ‘Ogbanje’ and you are seated in this church auditorium, I command you to come forward!’ Reverend Theo commanded.
Ghen Ghen! Now he began the search for trouble. We all know what ogbanje meant nau.

Theo was not himself after the slap from the ‘Ogbanje’ girl. He had to be carried out of the church on a stretcher as he was hospitalized for close to one month. Luckily for him, he was recuperating better and was striving up his health ladder. I was on my way back from my numerous visits to Theo in the hospital when something happened that I would never forget in a hurry.
I was walking briskly along a narrow deserted path, busy manipulating my blackberry mobile phone when I started hearing loud noises.
‘Thief! Thief! Ole! Barawo! Oleburuku o! Catch am, catch am!’ The shouts became louder as they headed towards my direction with the angry mob in hot pursuit of a thief.
Their perspective became clearer and clearer as they drew more and more closer. I could sight the thief running in full speed, in a real race he could have given Usain Bolt a run for his money as he sped faster than the wind.
I brought out my blackberry phone intending to take a snapshot of his face because he was just feets away from me now, I was just about taking the shot when the thief drew closer to me and snatched my phone away.
O my God, I must be dreaming. My blackberry bold 6, a phone Emma ‘Managed’ to dash me from his numerous ‘Find for keeps’ missions, Even if this thief enters hell fire, I must follow him to collect my BB back.
I instantly took to my heels as the mob was still on his trail, pursuing him as if my life depended on it.
‘Thief o, Thief! My blackberry o’ I yelled as I joined in the chase. I have never seen a human being run as fast as this thief but we were on the same page as I ran like never before.
Fortunately or should I say unfortunately, another handful of the angry mob ambushed the thief from his front, catching him before he could make another turn.
Phew! Thank goodness, I could collect my phone now. The angry mob dragged the thief unto the floor and began beating him mercilessly, hitting him with whatever they could lay their hands on, planks, stones, all landed on his body.

The mob didn’t even give me a chance to protest when they pounced on me, giving me the beating of my life. I began to fear for my life when I started hearing,
‘Emeka rush go filling station buy ten litres of petrol’ A man ordered his son while another man instructed his own son.
‘Abdullahi, rush go that mechanic workshop carry all the tyre wey you see there.’ The second man sent his son.
‘O lord, please you know am innocent, I promise not to slap any body again in my life, please I don’t want to die’ I cried within me.
Things had deteriorated when I saw Emeka and Abdullahi coming hand in hand with the petrol and tyres. So this was how I was going to die?. I could hear the thief laughing mockingly at me. My rage doubled immediately, I didn’t mind the beating we were both receiving as I pounced on him mercilessly beating him squarely. We were both receiving our share of beating from the mob, but He was also receiving my own share. Even though I wouldn’t be able to retrieve my phone from him, at least I would be compensated by the kind of beating I dealt him.
Kpowai! I felt the painful thud of a wooden plank hit my head and my head went blank.
I woke up in an hospital ward with plasters and bandages all over my body, I was yet to remember what brought me here when two beautiful ladies walked into the ward. The older lady wasn’t that beautiful though I later found out that she was the doctor attending to me, while the latter was a damsel to behold. She was a black beauty with a long flowing weavon fixed to her head. Her facial beauty was indescribable, it seemed God himself moulded her to his own perfection. Choi! This girl was beautiful! She was tall with average sized trafficators and an awesomely big ‘behind’. She had a coke figure with excellent body shape and all I could murmur was ‘Wow!’.

She continued stroking and carresing my head for some time then she gently lifted my head from her laps and placed it on the bed. She stood up from the bed and reached for the cupboard besides me, revealing a white ‘Mr Biggs’ takeaway bag.
She poured out the contents gently on the floor, it consisted of a takeaway dish, two big cups of Icecream and finally two bottled soft drinks. I just sat on the bed totally speechless, what could have warranted such treatment from such a beautiful damsel? I asked myself. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her, she was the real definition of an African beauty.
She brought my head again and placed it on her laps, opened the takeaway dish and scooped a handful to feed me. I didn’t know what to think so I resisted, she brought the spoon closer to my mouth again intending to feed me but I resisted again.
‘Please you need to eat up, its for your health’ She pleaded.
‘I don’t even know you and I don’t think I deserve such treatments from you’ I spoke out rather inappreciative, even when I knew I was supposed to be thanking her for her kind gesture.
‘You don’t need to know me to appreciate me, well that’s by the way, you need to eat up and rest’ She said with a smile on her face. I wanted to say something again when she brought her finger to my lips urging me to keep mute.
I was weak and couldn’t continue arguing with her so I gave up. She began feeding me like a baby while many thoughts crossed my mind.
What if she was an undercover agent sent to monitor me? What if she was poisoning me? What if she was a ritualist? Infact who was she?
I mustered courage. I wanted to speak up and ask her certain questions so as to clarify things but as I raised my head up and looked into that ever beautiful and smiling face of hers, all strength left me and flew out through the window.

She continued feeding me amidst laughter and gisting. She was really a jovial and easy going person. I enjoyed her company that I wished it would last forever.
She then informed me about everything that had happened, about the mob almost lynching me together with the thief but a group of good samaritans came to my rescue, insisting that I wasn’t among the robbery attack and that the description of the thief’s partner didn’t match with me so I was Freed.
She also said that I was already knocked out and la!d lifeless on the floor before the revelation was made, thankfully I wasn’t killed but no one thought it fair enough to at least give me a helping hand or rush me to the hospital, that she alone brought me to the hospital all by herself.
I looked at her with amusement, she didn’t even know me, yet went through all that just to help me.
‘Don’t tell me you wanted to act like the good samaritan in the bible?’ I asked. ‘I don’t even you, but yet you just decided to help me just like that?’ I questioned.
She laughed. ‘I know you but I don’t think you know me’.
I looked at her, puzzled. ‘You know me? How? Where?’.
She giggled again. ‘I see you as a very kind hearted person who would go any length to help or please others even at your own displeasure’.
This girl was speaking in parables o. I sat upright on the bed with confusion written all over my face.
‘I still don’t get you, how do you know me, have we met before please?’ I asked.
‘Its a shame I didn’t get the chance to thank you for your small deed towards me and my dad’ She said again.
Now I was completely lost! I looked straight in her eyes anxiously waiting for her to continue.

We gisted for quite some time before she excused her self, saying she needed to rush home before her dad became worried at her absence from the house since she didn’t tell him where she was going before she left.
‘Please don’t go now, just stay a bit please’ I begged.
She rubbed my chest again, ‘ I would have loved to but I have to get going now, besides I know the kind of Dad I have, if he finds out am presently with you here, you would be dead by morning’ She said while we both laughed.
‘Is he that bad?’ I sarcastically asked.
She drew closer to my ear and whispered. ‘He is a retired General in the army, no one jokes with his daughter’ We had a good laugh at this but I knew she just told me in a subtle way that she was a no nonsense girl, a daughter of a retired General? Fear catch me small.
I didn’t want her to leave but I guess I had no choice. I enjoyed her company every bit and we flowed well just as if we had known each other for a long time now. I couldn’t just take my eyes of her radiant ebony skin with those white dazzling 32’s which whenever she smiled, I felt butterflies in my tummy.
Her beautiful face lightened up every dark spot in my heart. I have never felt this way for any girl in my life.
She was different from all other girls I know, something I couldn’t lay my hands on but I just knew she was special. She stood up to take her leave while I managed to sit upright on the edge of the bed, she glanced one more time at me and turned but I couldn’t contain the passion building inside me ever since the first time I opened my eyes and saw her.
I drew her back gently by her arms and as she turned, I planted a kiss on her lips. I didn’t know what entered me but I just felt like as if the world and life instantly became sweet, I started seeing rainbows and a beautiful creature come out of it with a bow and an arrow as he shot what seemed to be like a Love-badge arrow.

I boarded a cab from the hospital to take me home and then another awful event unfolded.
Sitting on the passenger seat of the car, the driver began a conversation with me, as we familiarized with each other. At first I thought we would just get to know ourselves and then he would shut up but I was wrong.
The driver began talking and talking as if his mouth was a leaking basket, from politics to food and to family, all spheres of life, this man was just talking. His talkative mouth hurt me even more than the pains I was feeling and I just felt like locking him in the boot of the car with his mouth sealed.
Although I must admit he was a good company, but I was just fed up with his chalancy and noisemaking.
We were half way into the journey when we sighted a group of people crowded in a particular spot on the flyover bridge. I thought the driver would overlook it and continue driving but for where! I was totally wrong. This driver was a true definition of a ‘busy body’.
He didn’t even request my permission as he quickly stopped and parked the car besides the road in order to go have a view of what was happening there.
Unfortunately for him, that was where his problem began.
I sat in the passenger seat as I watched him rush to where everyone stood. This man wasn’t thinking o, what if I was a thief and decided to do away with his car?. Anyways, the crowd seemed to be watching a man who stood on the edge of the bridge dancing and yelling.
I couldn’t really see well from inside the car so I didn’t know what was really happening.
Curiosity got the upperhand of me as I opened the door of the car and made to where the crowd was. I now stood at a vintage spot and could see clearly what was happening but it seemed nothing was actually happening, only that the people were watching a man, who was probably mad, counting and shouting excitedly ontop of his voice as he confidently stood on the edge of the bridge without falling.

The whole stress from the mob’s close lynching to the insolent taxi driver was taking a toll on me already. fortunately for the driver, he was thrown into a flowing stream and not bare ground.
He came out of the stream unhurt but wet and no one told him to mind his own business henceforth. I entered his car and off we zoomed.
Time check: 9pm.
I arrived my apartment late that night to meet Emma outside the verandah who seemed to be totally worked up and worried for my absence but the moment he saw me, he rushed towards for a brotherly hug.
‘Guy, wetin happen na, I don dey call your phone line since, E dey say switched off, why you just disappoint like this na, you know say we suppose follow go that…’ Emma looked at my face and saw that all wasn’t well so he stopped his blabbing.
‘Guy, wetin happen to your face na, you look like as if you go steal meat and them catch you, beat you’ Emma added.
I looked up at him, touching my bruised face as I spoke. ‘Is it that bad?’ I asked.
‘Tell me who do you this thing and the person dey go down six feet this night’ Emma yelled. I pretended as if I didn’t hear him talk so I just entered inside the house, still yet, Emma trailed me from behind.
‘Gee, talk to me now, wetin happen?’ Emma continued questioning me. When I saw that he won’t stop bombarding me with questions, I gave in as I opened my mouth to talk but I was interrupted.
Bang! Bang! A knock at the door.
I noticed Emma’s sudden uneasiness. Seemed he didn’t want me to find out who was behind the door.
Bang! Bang! A knock at the door again.
Emma still kept mute. He stole a naughty glance at me and I looked at him back.
What game was he playing that I didn’t know of?

‘Ah! Landlady? Old soldier wife? Emma!’ I screamed before covering my mouth with my two hands.
The landlady was shaken with fear, she didn’t expect me to be at home at that time of the night.
‘Emma, I think you been talk say this your shegeyaro roommate done travel?’ The landlady asked.
Emma stammered, ‘Me sef no know wetin him dey do here o, Him been tell me say he dey travel’.
‘Ah! Emma! Which time I tell you say I dey travel?’ I asked furiously.
‘Shutup there Mr.Man, if you love your life this night better dey go back to where you dey come from o’ Emma fired back.
‘Ah, Emma, for my room wey I dey pay house rent with my own money again?’ I questioned, while he just started at me with a plain face.
The landlady just kept mute while I and Emma questioned each other. A brief introduction to my landlady. She is the meanest person on planet earth, feared by all, and when I mean all, I also include old soldier too.
She’s got too sons who were shorter than ‘Aki N Pawpaw’ themselves, they had huge body build up which made them look like macho-commandos. Landlady never failed to use them as instruments of attack whenever she had any problem with any tenant. She was feared by all, and I feared for my self that night.
‘Scorpion! Stinky!’ Landlady called out.
‘Ma-le!!’ Two deep bass voice answered from two rooms away.
Before I could say Jack Robertson, the two short devils waltzed into my room. The landlady spoke to them in their dialect and what happened next was something I would never forget.
Scorpion,the first boy, sorry man, swept me off my feet like a broom while stinky the second whisked me up and placed me on his shoulders, placing me in a lockdown that I couldn’t even move a part of my body.

Emma waited for me while I hurriedly entered the bathroom and took a quick shower, came out as I creamed, powdered, wore my body perfume and clothes, and then finally taking a glance at my fine boy face in the mirror before joining Emma and off we went.
Time check. 8am.
We bounced into campus as if our father was the vice chancellor, probably because our lectures that day was scheduled to start from 9am.
At the school’s main gate, A couple of handshakes from our guys and a bunch of hugs also from the female foes we met at the gate and we were done with the morning pleasantries.
Emma and I briskly walked away from the gate as we approached the school’s senate building located besides a round about.
We then passed the famous Queen Amina hall and was heading to the faculty of science when Emma realised he had’nt photocopied some important documents which he would submit in his department. He pleaded I followed him which I declined, with the excuse that I had something important to do in my department before lectures started but he was insistent, giving me no other option.
We took a turn to our left and entered ‘Evolution Cafe’ which was located inside the school’s social centre. And that was when he saw her.
We had entered the cyber cafe recklessly without taking a mental note of the people present, so that just incase we needed to dodge from someone, it would have been easy.
The sales person had already started attending to Emma’s documents when Bella walked up to Emma with anger in her eyes.
Bella was a pretty tall chocolate skinned lady who Emma woed some months ago with intentions of her just being a one time thing. He had stopped calling and texting her immediately he got what he wanted from her and that was what broke the poor girls heart.

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